Frank  But a deltoid and a bicep.
                A hot groin and a tricep.
                Makes me, oooh, shake, 
                Makes me want to take Charles Atlas by the 
Frank & Transylvanians  In just seven days 
                I can make you a man.
         Frank  I don't want no distention,
                Just dynamic tension.
         Janet  I'm a muscle fan.
         Frank  In just seven days, 
                I can make you a man.
                Dig it if you can
                In just seven days, 
                I can make you a man.
                (Frank and Rocky's wedding march)
Transylvanians  Frank and Rocky, rah-rah-rah!
                Frank and Rocky, rah-rah-rah!
                Frank and Rocky, rah-rah-rah!
                Frank and Rocky, rah-rah-rah!
      Narrator  There are some who say that life is an illusion
                , and reality is but a figment of the
                If this is so, then Brad and Janet are quite safe.
                the sudden departure of their host... 
                and his  creation...
                into the seclusion of his somber bridal
                suite  and left them feeling
                both apprehensive and uneasy, a feeling which grew
                as the other guests departed,
                and they were shown to their separate rooms.
                (Janet and Brad are shown to their separate rooms by Riff
                 Raff and Magenta)
                (Janet enters room)
                (Brad enters room)
         Janet  Uhh! Who is it? Who's there?
  Frank (Brad)  It's only me, Janet.
         Janet  Oh, Brad darling, come in. 
                Oh! Brad, Oh Brad. Yes, my darling... but what if...
  Frank (Brad)  It's all right, Janet, everything's going to be all right.
         Janet  Oh, I hope so, my darling.
                Oh... Ah... ahh OHHH! Oh, it's you!
                I'm afraid so, Janet, but isn't it nice...
         Janet  Oh, you beast, you monster...
                Oh what have you done with Brad?
         Frank  Oh, well, nothing. Why, do you thing I should?
         Janet  You tricked... I wouldn't have... 
                I've never... never...
         Frank  Yes, yes, I know, but it isn't all bad, is it?
                I think you really found it quite
         Janet  Oh, stop... 
                I mean help... Brad Brad!... Oh Brad!!
         Frank  Shhh. Brad's probably asleep by now. Do you want him to see you
                like... This!
         Janet  Like this like how?! Oh, it's your fault... you're to blame...
                Oh... I was saving myself...
         Frank  Yes, but I'm sure your not spent yet...
         Janet  Promise you won't tell Brad? 
         Frank  Cross my heart and hope to die...
                (assorted sexual noises)
                (Scene with Riff Raff and Magenta, Magenta with a mop)
                (Riff Raff walks over to rocky)
                (Riff Raff grabs the candelabra)
                (Riff Raff scares Rocky with the candelabra)
                (Rocky runs away)
                (Rocky climbs down the elevator shaft)
                (Riff throws candle)
 Frank (Janet)  Oh, Brad darling, it's no good here. It'll destroy us.
          Brad  Don't worry Janet, we'll be away from here in the morning.
 Frank (Janet)  Oh, Brad you're so strong and protective.
                Ah, ah, ah, oh YOU!
         Frank  I'm afraid so, Brad, but isn't it nice...
          Brad  Why YOU! What have you done with Janet?
         Frank  Nothing. Why? Do you think I should? 
          Brad  You tricked me, I wouldn't have... 
                never never... never...
         Frank  Oh yes yes, I know... but it isn't all bad, is it?
                Not even half bad, I think you really quite enjoyed it.
                (Brad starts moaning)
         Frank  Oh... so soft...
          Brad  Stop it... stop it... oh Janet... JANET!
         Frank  Janet's probably asleep by now. Do you want her to see you
                like THIS? 
                (Brad sits up and yells)
          Brad  Like this, like how? It's your fault, you're to blame,
                I thought it was the real thing! 
         Frank  Oh come on, Brad, admit it, you liked it, didn't you?
                It isn't a crime to give yourself over the pleasure,
                We've wasted so much time already...
                Janet needn't know, I won't tell her...
          Brad  Well, promise you won't tell...
         Frank  On my mother's graoouuuuu...
                (Beep Beep Beep...)
     Riff Raff  Master, Rocky has broken his chains and vanished. 
                Your new playmate is loose 
                and somewhere on the castle grounds...
                Magenta has just released the dogs... 
         Frank  Mmmm? Coming! 
         Janet  What's happening here?
                Where's Brad?  Where's ANYbody?
                Oh, Brad.  Brad, my darling,
                how could I have done this to you?
                if only
                If only we hadn't made this journey...
                if only the car hadn't broken down...
                if only we were amongst friends... Or sane persons,
                Oh Brad, Oh Brad, what have they done with him...
                (she sees him on TV with Frank)
                Oh, Brad, Oh Brad -- How could you?
                (she fondles lever)
                (Rocky emits moans and general cries of pain)
                (Rocky gets up)
         Janet  Oh, but you are hurt...
                Did they do this to you?
                I'll dress your wounds...
                baby there...
                (rip her skirt and dress Rocky's wound)
                let me make it all better.
      Narrator  Emotion, agitation or disturbance of the mind...
                Vehement or excited mental state.
                It is also a powerful and irrational master...
                and from what Magenta
                and Columbia eagerly viewed on the television monitor
                there seemed little doubt that Janet was, indeed, ...its slave.
Magenta & Columbia     Tell us about it, Janet.